Will it adversely affect my child to be left in daycare?

As many people as you'll ask - that's how many answers you'll get. Not everyone has the option or constitution to be a stay-at-home parent. But experts say - and Safer Child tends to agree - that staying at home for some or all of the first three years is generally better for the child. No matter how lousy a parent you feel you are, your child has a powerful and innate longing to be with you and to know that you want to be with him or her.

Having said that, the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development did a study over seven years and concluded that daycare quality and quantity seemed to be more important factors than daycare itself, and other studies have concluded that children in high-quality daycare have better language, memory and social skills. However, a more negative assessment of typical daycare came from the Child Care Bureau (of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services), which listed the conclusions of various studies in this field. And then there's the adamant advice from Doctors T. Berry Brazelton and Stanley Greenspan, who wrote The Irreducible Needs of Children: What Every Child Must Have to Grow, Learn, and Flourish (Greenspan also wrote The Four-Thirds Solution: Solving the Childcare Crisis in America Today). They say capable parents should provide "at least a significant part" of child care for their babies and toddlers -- and that even older children and teen-agers shouldn't come home to an empty house.

However you feel about it, Safer Child reminds you of these things: the earlier you leave a child in daycare, the earlier your child will begin to contract viruses. There is some correlation between early daycare and trouble with ear infections and colds. It's also much harder (albeit not impossible) to continue breastfeeding your child while using daycare. And, as NICHD noted in its study, the more hours a day a young child spends in daycare, the more likely the child may be to have certain problems later. A study released in July 2003 (led by University of Minnesota psychologist Megan Gunnar) indicated that shy children show increased levels of stress hormone in daycare settings. Finally, very young children cannot tell you they aren't receiving adequate care - except perhaps to be clingy or whiny or ill. If your child exhibits these symptoms, pay attention and resist the temptation to just brush them off as simple "separation anxiety." There might be more to it.

Some parents stay at home until the child is a toddler or preschooler (and talking) and then begin introducing the child to playgroups and small bits of daycare - gauging how much is too much by the child's reaction.